Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There r osticjed everywhere
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
