wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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