One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
