Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
