he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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