i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
