their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
