Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
