I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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