So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize