CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
