The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
