We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This baby is an asshole
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
