CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
