All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
