Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
