erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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