I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize