You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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