He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
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4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
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You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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