You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
