You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
