ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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