HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I need to align my fucking chakras
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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