i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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