the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
