She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
