just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
