is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
