i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
