I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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