I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
