im having a threesome with these popsicles
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
