i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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