My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize