My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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