there's paper in my vomit.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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