hotel room ftw
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
