He is such a slut. More and more my type.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
