dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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