i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
