Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
