hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
