Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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