you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
