i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
