I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
