btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Farmville is her only friend.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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