I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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