I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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