Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
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Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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