i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
