2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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