he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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