You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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