That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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