yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
