i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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