Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
