Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
