i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
